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silverdeer

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friends locked [Sep. 16th, 2015|08:46 pm]
silverdeer

this LJ is Friends Locked


im totally open to new friends though :D so just add me and leave a comment ^^
im locking some of my entries that im not sure i would want all of the public to read


for friends: more about meee (:

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(no subject) [Aug. 13th, 2009|12:44 pm]
silverdeer
ahh i know i havent posted in a longgg time so i`ll try to do a recap in my next post... some time this week

but idk i just needed to get my thoughts out >_<
theres this guy.... on my mind... a lotttt >__<
but i dont want to be like all jealous especially since we`re not really "anything"
we've just gone out on dates and stuff >_<
but idk :| i started to think i like him a lot... and im leaving soon so i was going to give him like a special cd present w/ me talking and singing and stuff for him even though i dont like singing x_x;;
but now i dont know... like last night i was kind of talking to him but then he had to go do something else... but when i called him later his phone was busy... so i was like whatever... but i saw on his fb pg that he was talking to this girl on the phone cus she made a fb video of them talking on the phone o_o;; lol i mean its not a crime for him to be talking to another girl.. especially cus we`re not anything...but like watching the video kind of made me think about how flirtyish their phone conversation is...like in the same degree our phone convos are... it kind of makes me think the way he treats me is just like how he treats all the other girls he knows...yeahhh so my head is all jumbled right now...
idk :| i wish i knew if i was special or not >_< or if im just like the "next girl" (cus like basically i met him like right after/while another girl was kind of iffy about their relationship or w/e)
rawwrr :| i wonder if i should just back out now and save myself from getting hurt... or take a risk >_< though idk... xP
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meerrrrr meerrrrrr [May. 31st, 2009|11:53 pm]
silverdeer
.__. ughh i think im falling out of fandom x_x and i can feel my music tastes change a little >< feel free to defriend me .. i`ll understand :|

---

rawwr brooding lately :|

lol josshhhhh hahaa ><
so my status on aim was ".___."
and josh IMs me going :" turn that long face upside down (:"
haha ><.... so like i didnt change my status after that so he was like
"(9:53:23 PM): your long face is still there -.-
(9:53:26 PM): smileeeee (:
 (9:53:31 PM): do i need to smile for you? xD haha "
and yeahh the conversation continued after that
but >< what a cutieeee... definately improved my mood haharamble rambleCollapse )
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heeee [May. 2nd, 2009|04:57 pm]
silverdeer
lifeeeee
D: so much stuff going on lately so this`ll be a catch up post... haha ><
1. D: FUDGE! haha AP tests coming up .__. and i havent studied on my own AT ALL x_x yay first test on monday too! and two more next week.... hahahahahaaaaa D: GAHHH lol .__.
2. EEP im so old ): turned 18 hahaa legaal babyyy xD
3. prom~ haha our prom is at the aquarium of hte pacific in... 3 weekends? haha (:
originally i wasnt even going to go >< but then my friend was like lets go dress shopping! and hten i bought a dress... and then i was like .. oh now i have to use it .__.
plus one of my guy friends asked mee ^^ though i kind of already knew he was going to .. it was sweet (:
haha he made this origami paper rose box and then its openable .. and then inside he put htis really pretty bracelet THAT HE MADE HIMSELF TOO :O that said prom on it >< hahaa it was cute (:
omg hes like more artistic than i am ): so sad hahaa
but it was a really private kind of thing after school so now i have to go tell my friendsss hahaha ><
4. GAH summer! so soon .__. i think im going to china/taiwan like RIGHT after graduation and then back.. maybe to hang out with friends and hopefuly get a jobbb :P
5. OMG so not ready for college ): so much stuff to do and think about before! but yeahh im going to UC- Berkeleyyy D: haha i know so many other people going >< but yeah if any of you guys go up to the bay area next year.. let me know~~ lol :D
6. ahhh .___. im having mixed feelings right now... about EVERYTHING >< so aksjdfa;iejf haha i dont even know how to describe it :/

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rawwwr >< how have all of you guys been?

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trust.... [Mar. 26th, 2009|06:56 pm]
silverdeer
lifes been so weird

colleges
arg! i pretty much didnt get into any of the schools i REALLY wanted to get into and got into places that were more whateverish to me
for example cmc and usc and ucsd (i think i`ll appeal just for the heck of it) i would actually be happy to go to any i got rejected and didnt hear from usc STILL :/
looool though when i told my dad i didnt get into cmc he was like "hmf their loss.. theyre missing out on a brilliant/successful future economist. in the future they`ll be weeping about how they didnt accept you :P" lol -.-;
and then schools like UTA, UCI, CAL(o_o), csuf i was like whateverish (cal i applied thinking i was just giving them a free 70bucks or w/e) but yeah even though i got into berkeley i dont think i want to go there :/ all the rejected schools still sound nicer to me.... yeah im weird :| 
though my moms like you should go to uci so you can room with your sister cus she got nice rooms or go but your cousin at cal .. yeah but i think right now its like for my parents cal>uci>uta>CC>csuf while for me its more of uta=cal>uci=cc>csuf (based on personal bias and that cc are easier to transfer to a better UC)
BUT im a positive person... i seriously believe whats meant to happen happens.. i guess those schools just werent meant for me .. i trust everything will work out (:

school/social
hehe... schools been cool because i have alot of stuff to look foward too
like last last weekend was amnesty concert, last weekend retreat+shopping trip, this weekend sadies+possible manicure/cue trip, next weekend spring break, some time after that star testing ( :D no school til 11ish!)
yeah but its fun... im more social now? haha or atleast it feels like it to me and look forward to being able to hangout and talk to friends ^^
yeah thats why senior years prtty cool cus im less "ZOMG@_@SCHOOL" and more relaxed and my parents are letting me go out more (:

thats it (:
haha thats been on my mind recently so i had to let it out ^^

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hold on♥ [Mar. 15th, 2009|08:34 pm]
silverdeer
this is one freaking amazing song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJ8-B7X7JQc
david choi- hold on ♥
seriously
:| for my friends have been going through some hard times♥ hold on (:
for seniors who have been really depressed about not getting into their dream schools ♥hold on (:
for people who feel like life is nothing but darkness ♥hold on (:
for me thats been down lately♥ hold on(:
for everyone ♥just hold on (:

"You fought your way up to the wall
But haven't gone past at all, while gazing with tear filled eyes
You cant help but ask why
Trying hard is what it takes
Then why does it feel like a mistake
The world has taken its side
You just want to run away...and hide


Its tough
There's no one to turn to
I hear, screaming inside you,
Feels like hells all you been through
Hells all you been through


Hold on...
Dont stop your breathing
I see your dreams and
I feel them too
Hold on
Dont lose your faith
I know you cant break
Im hoping and

Praying for you...
For you

All your pieces seem far away
But you know there comes a day
When everything is so bright
All the darkness you feel....subsides
In the rising of the sun,
You can finally say its done
The world will take your side
And your heart will start to shine


I will
Holding on to you
There is
Nothing you cant do

I will try to be strong...
Try to be strong


Ill never let go of you"
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a day of up then down [Mar. 14th, 2009|08:34 pm]
silverdeer
blah what a crazy day~!
YAY 4Darfur Concert.. the turn up was suckish :| but i think we raised a decent amount of money... atleast i hope so!
and i saw a reallyyy cute guy HAHA >_>
anyways
but then i got home :| and i guess i knew it already... but i just didnt really want to see it happen
*sigh* i guess its ok
but its still disheartening
oh well
time to study my butt off for physics ): cus im freaking faiiling that class
and test is on tuesday
yeah... BYE
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last spam i promise [Mar. 12th, 2009|05:38 pm]
silverdeer
hehe my list shameless plug :D

OK SO HERES THE DEAL :D I WILL GIVE YOU A FREE TICKET IF YOU GO! (: [no one can resist free things :DD]
YOU JUST NEED TO GET THERE :D  AND FIND MEUNLESS YOU WOULD NOT MIND DRIVING TO A MEETUP POINT FOR A CARPOOL FROM RANDOMISH PEOPLE 
its really for a good cause :3 but we`re seriously down on numbers :| its REALLY bad ... so im buying tickets for people if you want to know... seriously let me know ASAP :D


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scared [Mar. 10th, 2009|11:19 pm]
silverdeer
-sigh- ive been feeling really sad recently but not really depressed or for any specific reason. its just like a downish mood but more of one of those periodic ones... haha
i think i think too much and thats why i blow things out of proportion in my head lol
just random list of stuff that is blah
1. college acceptance letters... as a believer that everything happens for a reason... its hard not to be worried. while everyone has freaking 4.0s and 2400s or something like that (slight overexaggeration) .. i dont :| schools people dont really care about or think as a mid/safety i just want to get into :( i know its my fault for not working harder earlier but ive already moved past that...i think a large part of worries has to do with point number 2
2. i care way too much about what people think of me :| i guess i should be me and screw what everyone else thinks.. but i still care :| i dont want to be the person who everyone goes "oh...... >_> youre going to calstatefullerton? wow... hahaa im got into all the UCs and ivys and all the schools you wanted to get into" it sucks. i hate it when people look down on me (figuratively) but whatever im going to be strong no matter what happens >:|
3. im jealous.. im jealous of the girls that have that guy that overly adores her that talks to her until 4 in the morning and wants to go to a university close to her... im jealous of the girl that has that guy that walks home with her every day... im jealous of just those girls that have a hand to hold... im a green monster...
4. im tired.... tired of waiting.. tired of being scared... tired of just everything...
5. almost contradictory.. i really dont want to grow up :| i know im a living paradox..


-----
shameless plugs :D
Amnesty International (THS) is hosting a benefits concert to raise money for Darfur. Its THIS saturday (doors open at 3 untl 7) in Costa Mesa (:
It would be freaking AWESOME if you came! :D ($7 per sale, $8.50 online (http://www.aiusaoc.org/common/darfur_concert.html) and $10 at the door)
if you have facebook: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=47214252762
and if you are going... let me know :D 

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Darfur Concert [Feb. 24th, 2009|06:51 pm]
silverdeer
Hey everyone!
Sorry this is a random promotion :D and since i know some of my f-list live in socal (though im not exactly sure if your even close to cosa mesa) >< im going to promote to you xD
We are holding a concert to raise money for Darfur!

What: 4Darfur Concert
When: Saturday, March 14, 2009-  3:00-7:00PM
Where: Costa Mesa, CA (Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church, 1259 Victoria Street, Costa Mesa, CA)
Who: anyone can come!
Why: its for a good cause! all money made will be donated to Amnesty International for Darfur
How: Either come day of and purchase a ticket at the door or i can try to get you a ticket ($10)

So basically a few Amnesty International Clubs across socal are running a concert. Come to the concert! :D bring your friends~
:| most of the bands are amatures but once again its for a good cause ^^
- The bands (i THINK theres one more) :Basic (http://www.myspace.com/basicmusicband), Public Transportation (http://www.myspace.com/publictransportationband), Transcend, Blackout 101 (http://www.myspace.com/theblackout101)!
If you have any questions or whatever, ask me (:
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